Do you ever just feel like God failed you, like you were never made to be somebody's someone but like everybody's somebody, like your friends need you but they don't NEED you, like you're everybody's everybody but you were never meant to be important. Everybody wants you in your life but you're nobody actually important, you're not good enough for anybody you're just there to be there for everyone else, like you're just good enough but always on the outside of the circle. You are in a bunch of people's stories but never those people's main event… I pick everyone else up but I am the first to get sacrificed, like I recognize it; I recognize when those people have a shift in their behavior they need something from me but I don’t want to complain about my suffering because it will bring everyone else down.  Today as everyone sits and chats intensely about all of these cool things that they've done but I never did any of it I can’t even say words because, they all have more money and more time and are just worth more on this Earth than me.      I know this sounds like a total pity party but you can’t tell me you have never felt like this?  I am not looking for a woo is me story or sympathy.  I can just honestly say I sit at this table with these people but I sit here and I pick them up and I give them every ounce of me, as I just want to waste away.  I've never been good enough; I was not good enough for my husband, that is why he cheated, you all can say it was because of him but at the end of the day, I was the reacher, I have always been the reacher. Reachers and Settlers can never have it all.  I have learned that.  Trust me, I have learned.  When you are the reacher, you have to understand, how much you drag a settler down. It’s not fair to them, especially if they have it all and you bring them up but you are not “the one”.  Just stop and get the fuck out of the way.  That is what is fair, it is what you …I was built for.  For my kids, so help me God, I know I am not good enough for them.  I want to break free from the generational spiral I am in but here the fuck I am.  Miserable, alone, being everyone else’s pick me up as I scream and cry in silence. I am alone everywhere I go, God built me to be here for everyone else… that is so hard all the time…it's so hard. How do you listen to everyone else bitch about everything, and you research and you build plans for them, and you help them but its always just you.  Whether they succeed or fail, you try to help them, you give whole pieces of your soul, knowing you will be alone in the end because your life is for everyone else to live.  It sucks and it hurts, and it is so lonely to face the truth.  But yet…here it is.  I will never be good enough.